


Sugar, We're Writing Tragedies

by blue_skies_dry_eyes



Series: Disasterology [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Everybody is gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, General Hux is FOB, General Hux is a stubborn asshole, Hatred which becomes friendship, Inspired by Music, Kylo Ren is P!ATD, Kylo Ren is a punk ass bitch, Light Angst, M/M, Music, Music AU, Phasma is Tove Lo, Rey is Halsey, Slow Build, Slow Burn, shit happens, this is the first in a series of six, this one is the more platonic of the six
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6396910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_skies_dry_eyes/pseuds/blue_skies_dry_eyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It shouldn't have been as hard as it was for Hux to catch a break. I mean Seattle was huge! There were billion other venues the Knights of Ren could have gone to instead of theirs, but as fate would have it, the ginger was forced to deal with the insufferable Kylo Ren on a weekly basis. It wasn't that their music was that bad or that he was jealous, if anything the Knights of Ren did in-fact help their exploit publicity and crowd sizes. It was just Hux could not stand the guy. No matter how hard he tried to be civil, the younger man would always find a way to push his buttons and get underneath his skin. If he were being straight with himself, he flat-out hated the guy, no matter how many times Phasma tried to claim that they were practically made for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar, We're Writing Tragedies

**Author's Note:**

> This story is planned to be the beginning of a larger series of work based on the Knights of Ren and Hux's band, The First Order. If you have any questions that you want to be answered, please do not be afraid to share. I am always happy to clear up any confusion. Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, Disney, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, "This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race", "Dollhouse", Melanie Martinez, the song "Disaterology", Pierce the Veil, Tove Lo, or Halsey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, Disney, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, "This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race", "Dollhouse", Melanie Martinez, the song "Disaterology", Pierce the Veil, Tove Lo, or Halsey.

~2003~

It couldn’t have been harder than it was in that moment to decipher how Elise Hux and her son were truly feeling. It should have been easy. They had lost both a father and a husband that day. They should’ve been upset and mourning and they shouldn’t be able to sit in that hospital waiting room without a monsoon of tears rushing down their faces, but that was exactly the situation. They didn’t feel sad at the loss of their family member, but rather a sense of relief had come over the both of them. They didn’t have to say anything to know that the feeling was a mutual one. However, being the careful woman that she was Elise’s relief was clouded by a perception of guilt. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be handling the news of her husband’s departure as well as she had been and yet she did not once get the urge to argue with the doctor’s verdict or let herself be overcome by sorrow. She accepted it as it was, like it was nothing. She was going to take her son home, fix him some leftovers, and then promptly send him off to bed just like it were any other Tuesday afternoon. In comparison to his mother’s guilt, Brendol Hux II experienced a feeling of idle terror building inside of him that wanted to devastate the contrasting feeling of relief that he wanted so badly to cling to.

Most people would have considered the Hux family as being joyous and successful in both their status and their personal relationships with one another. Most people would have looked at Brendol Hux as a kind man as well as a great lawyer and loving father. Most people would have looked at Elise Hux and envied her luxurious lifestyle and the fame that came from being married to such a successful lawyer. Most people would have even looked at their son and questioned how he could have been lucky enough to be blessed with the riches that came from his father and the loving home that came from his mother’s hard-work. What nobody saw however was just how broken their family truly was, despite their best efforts to hold it all together and to convince the world outside their walls that it wasn’t.

They were a rather outstanding family. Everybody within their town of Stockton, England knew who they were and desperately wanted to be them. Brendol was an exceedingly wealthy lawyer with a Bachelor of Law Degree from the University of Dundee that had yet to lose a case in the fourteen years of legal career and was much appraised for it. Elise was a young and beautiful schoolteacher at Crooksbarn Primary School with all the grace and poise of a ballerina as well as the best jewelry and clothing money could buy. Brendol Hux II was no different. Being only twelve years old and receiving almost everything that he asked for and going to only the best of academies his family could possibly find to send him, there was no question as to why he frequently made his classmates jealous. 

Everything about them seemed to be completely perfect and faultless, but that was only because nobody knew what happened when they weren’t being watched by the entire city. Nobody knew the way Brendol really acted. Nobody knew just how much he abused his family. Nobody knew just how much of an alcoholic he was. They lived in a large, flamboyant house that was far too secluded for Elise’s screams and his son’s cries to be heard in the middle of the night. Elise’s makeup was far too exuberant for anybody to pay attention to the scars that marked her arms or the limp in her steps. Their son’s sleeves were too long and too dark for anybody to notice his bruises or the dried blood that surrounded his wrists. They were too renowned for anybody to believe Hux’s stories and accusations, writing them off as nothing, but a pathetic cry for attention. His teachers only told him to pipe down and stop lying whenever he made an attempt to get help from one of them, their glorification of his intelligent father being too high for them to accept anything other than his eminence as the truth. His father knew better than to allow his son any opportunities to get the authority involved and further restricted his time alone so he would never get the chance. In contrast, Elise’s students were only five and six years old and too young to understand why their teacher always came in so torn up and shaken in the mornings and resented the end of the day when she knew she would have to take the trek back home. Her co-workers weren’t any better and acted much like Hux’s teachers had, placing her husband in too high of a regard to believe that he would ever purposefully harm somebody that he was supposed to care about. The only person Elise even had a chance to go to was her boss and she knew that even if she were to do that, the authority would be called, Brendol would’ve been notified and able to lie his way right out of any punishment, and the abuse would only get worse. Therefore, they were stuck without nobody to turn to and no way to seek help while their husband and their father abused them day after day after day for over a decade. That is, until they got the call.

Elise had been taking her class to lunch when she received a call from the University Hospital of North Tees, telling her that her husband had been out to the bar near their house that morning that he had always gone to whenever Elise headed off to work and took their son to All Saints Academy and had to be taken to the hospital after he lost consciousness and believed to be undergoing alcohol poisoning. As soon as Elise heard the news, she immediately felt the weight of the world fall off her shoulders and left school in order to tell her son the news and take them to the hospital where they were to await the conclusion of Brendol’s health.

They sat there for at least an hour as Elise quietly watched the nurses and doctors scurry past them, looking up through her brunette waves as to not seem nosy or overzealous at any sign of an update and Hux sat on the white-tiled floor in his oversized navy blue sweater with his school logo in the top, left corner and matching blue pants as he allowed his eyes to analyze the room they were being kept in until somebody could get back to them. He had never been to a hospital before, most of his sicknesses and injuries had been easily curable with the help of their family doctor so they had never needed to go to an actual public hospital before and his senses where overwhelming him, almost causing him to forget why they were even there in the first place. 

The room was almost devoid of all color, only the black outlines of the tiles on the floor and the ceiling and the red lights of alarms and sirens placed strategically around the room gave off an kind of hue. The walls were completely white, the ceiling and the floors were almost completely white, the chairs scattered around the room were completely white, the clock on the wall was white, the desk in the front of the room were white, the doors were white, the tables were white, and the border of the only two windows in the room were white. The two said windows were on the left side of the room and faced towards the brick wall of the next building. The lights were too dim and the sirens and alarms welcoming in the new sick and injured patients into the ward. Nothing about it seemed calming or pleasing, yet somehow there was still a gleam of hope growing within the young boy’s heart.

Elise tried her hardest to not let her eyes wander as her sons’ had. She had be respectable. Because of how popular their family had become to the public eye, she knew everybody was staring at her, whispering about her, and talking about her husband and his absence amongst the waiting Huxs, which could only mean one thing. Since she could not let herself take in the room in a desperate attempt to appear as nervous as she should have felt, she let her fingers grace across the silver locket that lay against her skin. The locket contained a lovely picture of her son on picture day when he had worn a formal suit and she spent the entire night doing his hair for him. Despite how horrid their home situation had always been, Elise loved her son more than anything in the world and constantly promised herself that she would find a way to get him help and to get him away from his father. Those moments of sitting in the waiting room while Hux took in his environment and Elise fiddled with her clothing as they waited the news, signaled for a hope that the harassment would soon be over.

After many long minutes of keeping her composure, Elise gave into temptation and allowed herself to peek up at the desolate room, only to come face to face with a middle-aged woman with some slight wrinkles in her eyes and speckles of grey in her blonde curls. She had a large shawl and that she had taken the liberty of wrapping around her three small children, none of which could have been older than seven. The two boys tried to comfort their older sister as tears ran down her face, but it obvious in the way that their eyes searched the room so much differently than Hux had that they were just as scared. The mother curled her arms around her children, the family clearly missing a crucial factor in their lives. Elise tried to smile and tried to convince herself that she felt the way that the young mother was feeling. She was distressed and concerned just like a wife should have been. She was consoling her children just like a mother should have been. She was struggling to keep self-control just like a woman in grieving should have been. Yet, Elise wasn’t downcast at Brendol’s absence and she didn’t feel the need to pull her son into a bone-crushing embrace because she knew he was perfectly fine and she certainly did not feel like her entire world was crashing down around her. If anything, her world was being remade from scratch and she was coming from the ashes as if she were a phoenix. She tried to watch the woman and try to understand just how unsettling losing the man that you love would be, but no matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t imagine such a love. She carefully examined the woman for seconds at a time before her hollow blue eyes came up to meet her green ones, boring into the depths of her soul. She looked away, letting a quiet gasp escape from her lips before looking down at the floor and replacing her attention into her son.

Feeling the weight of his mother’s eyes on his neck, Hux looked back up at her. He gave her a gentle smile, feeling the same way that she feared in the feel. His teal eyes happy to see her familiar face and his freckles stretched across his nose as he continued to smile, allowing her hand to reach for his well-kept auburn hair and twist it around in her fingers like she always did whenever she was nervous. Hux looked nothing like his mother. She had the smoothest skin and the waviest brown locks and brightest green eyes while Hux was the splitting image of his father with his freckled-face and his ginger hair and his turquoise eyes. It was something Hux always resented as if sharing the namesake of the beast was not enough. 

Suddenly, after many easy seconds of silence, Elise spoke up to her son,” We shall take a trip to the park tomorrow.”

Hux looked up at his mother and nodded, silently as he was still far too nervous to dare to open his mouth.

“We can take some bread with us, feed the birds and draw on the asphalt.” She offered again. It would have seemed like a strange request if Hux did not somewhat find comfort in the fact that his mother was talking about the future and what fun they would have together. It was easier for them to talk about what was the come, rather than to sit in silence and dwell on their current circumstances.

“We can ride our bikes and stick rocks on the lake,” Hux added.

Elise smiled, gratefully. It was a strange feeling the sort of solace that came from talking about such a simple act as having a day at the park together, but things like that did not happen often and it was a facile way of the pair admitting to what they hoped would be true. They accepted the fact that they both wanted out and they understood why without another question being asked. Elise’s wounds would heal within a matter of months and Hux would grow up to learn from his father’s mistakes and the rest would all come to pass.

“Maybe one of these days we shall move somewhere far away and explore more of the world,” Elise brought up, liking these effortless distractions.

“Where would we go, mum? All of Stockton and the surrounding cities know who we are. We would not be able to escape our family name that easily.” 

“No, no. Nowhere here. Outside of England, we should get away. The world has so much more to offer us than money and Big Ben and the London Eye. You have so much more to offer the world than being your father’s successor. You have your kind soul and your voice. Please promise me you won’t let the world take either of those away from you.” She told him, stroking his neck with the backside of her hand.

Hux looked up at her with a certain type of veneration for her evident in his eyes,” I promise.” He told her, taking that promise to heart. 

Despite how awful of a father Brendol had been to him, he knew his mother was one of the best people a person would ever get the chance to know. She was strong-willed, beautiful, kind-hearted, understanding, intelligent, and everything that Hux wanted to be. She was beyond words to him and he knew that she loved him with all of her heart, no matter how many times his father had made him feel like a burden upon his family.

A few minutes more and a young doctor walked through one of the doors, leading into the hospital rooms. He wore a blue scrub underneath a long white coat; a nametag claimed him to be Dr. Williams and the fraying of his nameplate suggested that he had worked at the hospital for quite some time. He carried a red clipboard and periodically looked down to read the information scribbled onto the documents stuck inside the clasp. No sign of expression was noticeable on his face.

Elise stood up, smoothing out of the crinkles in her faded green cardigan that were barely long enough to hide the bruises Brendol had given her just the previous night and the floral dress that Elise practically had to sneak out of the house in. She looked up at the doctor, trying to keep her expression as steady as his, but her hand was protectively placed over her son’s the entire time. It did not matter if Brendol was okay to her. She had come to terms with that within the past few hours of waiting and told herself that no matter how guilty it made her feel, it was a reasonable reaction. If Brendol was not okay, then it meant she and her son would be free to live their lives without the constant worry of him getting angered by them and deciding to lash out at any given moment. She could head off to bed, not having to worry whether or not Brendol would come home and attack their son. She would no longer have to feel scared that the choices she were making were not good enough or making sure he approved of everything that she did before she did it. Her son would no longer have to grow up within a broken home. He would be able to focus on his music and his singing without his father telling him how ridiculous or queer it made him appear. He would no longer have to assume that all men were horrible, barbaric creatures. They would be free. 

Then the fear came rushing back to her mind. What if Brendol was perfectly fine and he could home that very evening and she spent the entire day fantasying about her future life without the constrictions that her husband laid on them only to have to go home and watch him smack and raise a knife against their son yet again? She would have to act like nothing had happened and go on about her miserable life. She knew it was selfish to wish something horrible on her husband, but truthfully, she did. She didn’t want him to come home with them.

She looked down at her son once again with a glance that told him not to say anything or to let his emotions become apparent to anybody else in the room before looking back up at the doctor and finally dare to open her mouth,” How is he?”

The doctor gave one last look to the documents on his clipboard before looking up at Elise and her son with a grave expression on his face,” It… It doesn’t look good, Mrs. Hux. He has been unconscious for a total of six hours now and the levels of alcohol circulating in his bloodstream are dangerously high. You are welcome to join us in his room while we try and depict whether or not there is anything we can do, but based on our calculations, he probably doesn’t have that much time left.” He explained as gently as he possibly could.

Elise looked down at her newly polished shoes before letting out a gentle sigh,” Yes. I would like to see him.” She answered without addressing any of the other bits of information he had given her.

The doctor nodded solemnly as he turned and led the family back through the doors he had just come through. The halls of the hospital were even worse than the waiting room had been. There was no color except for the packets of IV that they had stacked up on a table to await the patients who would need them and the smell of death carried with them throughout their walk as they finally approached a door with ‘Brendol Hux’ written on a whiteboard that was attached to the top. Dr. Williams slowly turned the handle and pushed the door inward, allowing them to step inside. Hux would probably never forget seeing his father in the way that he did that day. 

He was lying in a hospital bed on the opposite side of the room, underneath a maroon colored blanket and had his head propped up by a dark grey pillow that was five times the size of his head so that they would have no trouble giving him his essentials. There was only one window in the room, matching the feeling of gloom that could be seen throughout the rest of the hospital. Everything surrounding his father was also new to him. There were wires of all different shapes and sizes, there were tools hanging the wall that led along Brendol’s freckled arms and into his nose, and there were buttons and machines in every single corner of the room. Everything was so big and mechanical, but that was not the thing that Hux was could not get off of his mind. 

Brendol Hux, for once in his life, was quiet. His ginger hair flopped across his face, in some unkempt way that Hux had never seen it before. His smile was not something commonly seen, but yet it did not once falter that day. Never in all of his forty-three years of living had Brendol Hux been more at peace than in the moment that he died. Within mere instants, a loud beep rang throughout the room and Hux has not once in the rest of his life after that day been able to get his father’s face when he passed away out of his mind.

~2011~

The neon lights flickered overhead as the young adults made their way to the Skylark Café, the sun had gone down just enough to allow a hint of pink to peek out from behind the buildings that they passed on their way to their destination. The ginger man wore a black hoodie over a moss-green plaid, flannel shirt and let the hood lay atop his head as he carried his grey Fender on his back, using a strap that read ‘The First Order’. He carried with care as he stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans, trying to make it clear that he was not up for any petty conversation. 

His companion was an older woman of about twenty-seven with short, half-shaven blonde hair that showed off her many ear piercings. She was tall and could definitely stand her own against anybody who dared to challenge otherwise. She wore a red plaid flannel shirt like a jacket to a shirt that red ‘The First Order’ above a symbol that kind of resembled an intricately designed hexagon. She wore denim shorts over black pantyhose that covered her feet and combat boots that made her appear as if she could step all over you. Like her friend, she also carried a red Fender in a guitar case as they made their way into the café they went to on a weekly basis.

As they stepped inside, the blonde woman leaned in to the younger man,” I’m going to go check in with Jimmy! You should probably go set up before Mitaka and Thanisson show, Hux!” She let him know before making a beeline for the other side of the room, past all of the tables and chatting adults.

Hux instantly turned and made his way over to the stage that was starting to feel more like his home than his actual apartment. About two years ago, he had started going to college at Boise State University in order to take a Communications major and become a Motivational Speaker. It was what his father would have wanted for him and he was dead set on making it happen until he rediscovered his love for music and dropped out. Ever since, he had been the lead singer and bassist of his own band, The First Order. Originally, it had just been him and his neighbor Caitlyn Phasma, or just Phasma, as she preferred to be called. They had met after the death of Hux’s father when his mother insisted that they move to Twin Falls, Idaho in order to achieve the fresh start that they both deserved, though it was going to take a lot more than an ocean to separate the family from their past. Phasma had been about nineteen at the time when they had met and going to the same university that Hux ended up taking a semester at before dropping out to pursue her own music, much to her father’s distaste. After seven failed attempts to get signed over, Phasma was forced to come back home and help her mom in her family’s bakery. However, when she learned about Hux’s desire to make it in the music industry, Phasma made it her main concern to become both Hux’s manager and lead guitarist. Once they had both moved to Seattle, they set up auditions to find a drummer and another guitarist. 

Thus leading them to their drummer, Sebastian Mitaka, and their guitarist, Thomas Thanisson and the creation of their band, The First Order. Since then they have spent every Saturday playing at the Skylark Café until midnight. Truthfully, it wasn’t that big of a success to be playing at the Skylark Café as it was open to the public, but the majority of the people who went to the Skylark Café had most definitely heard of them and some even came just to hear them play. They enjoyed it and the special occasions on which they would get paid for their gigs were of relatively good pay. It was like home to them and they could all honestly say that some of their favorite moments were playing up on that stage.

Hux continued to unload their guitars, set up their amplifiers, and test out the microphone as a man with jet-black short hair and his nefarious leather jacket and a man with light brown hair and his trademark dark checkered pants made their way backstage with their instruments, ready to set up and play.

“Mitaka, Thanisson. Get your instruments set up! I need to go make sure Phasma has everything under control.” He told them as he finished prepping his amp and stood up to face the two. It wasn’t like Phasma to have problems with handling the band’s affairs. That girl could charm the pants off of anyone. 

He slowly started to make his way to the back where he had last seen Phasma take a seat with James Willard, the owner of Skylark Café, or as Phasma had taken to calling him, Jimmy. By the time that he got near their table, he still had a hard time hearing what the two were saying, but by the sound of things Phasma was agitated. Phasma was never agitated.

“But where are we supposed to go?!” Phasma exclaimed, bothered by whatever Jimmy had just told her.

“Listen, peaches. It’s not that I don’t want you here. If anything, I’m concerned for you. You know that. You’ve been playing music for me for at least nine years now, Phasma. I was there when you were just starting out on your own and again two years ago when you came back with your band. I think you guys are great, but I needed the money. It’s not like I’m shutting the Skylark down or anything, you just might have to occasionally share your venue.” Jimmy tried to explain, as calmly as he could,” You aren’t even going to miss your spot! You’ll still get to play from 9 to 12. There just might be somebody going on before you. It isn’t even that bad of a thing. Just think of it as an opening act of some sorts.”

“What’s going on here?” Hux asked as he pulled out the chair, opposite from Phasma and sat down, engaging in the conversation.

“Jimmy’s trying to let another band play every Saturday before our show.” Phasma stated, bluntly.

“Because their manager was willing to pay me double!”

“Was that all? I don’t really see why that should be such a big deal…” Hux murmured, completely confused as to why Phasma was becoming so torn up at such a small matter.

“No, no. You’re right. It wouldn’t be all that big of a deal with it were anybody else.” Phasma agreed with a shrug.

“Well, who is it?” Hux asked, turning to face Jimmy.

“The Knights of Ren.”

“The Knights of Ren?! Bloody hell, James!” Hux exclaimed, recalling the band that the entire city of Seattle seemed to be going insane over. He had never personally taken the liberty of listening to any of their music, but that didn’t mean he had not heard of them.

“Listen, guys. This doesn’t take anything away from your show! If anything, you’ll just be bringing in even more fans with all of the publicity! This is a good thing for you! Might even helped you get noticed! I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

Hux groaned as he leaned on the table, which was still sticky from a large mountain dew a patron had spilled the other day,” When do they start?”

“I think they said they wanted to start playing shows next month.” Jimmy told them as he grabbed a washcloth from a janitor bin a few tables away and wiped up the mountain dew,” Now get up there and play! These people are expecting a show!”

The two slowly got up, their moods undoubtedly dampened for the night as they made their way back up to the stage where the others had already gotten everything set up. Just wait until Hux had to break the news to Mitaka and Thanisson. That was not going to be fun.

He carefully made his way over the chords that led from the bands’ amplifier to their guitars as he picked up the microphone and turned on his guitar, preparing for the music to overcome him and allow himself to just forget all about what Jimmy had just told them. 

Hux looked back at Phasma and the rest of the band members as he listen to the sound of the guitars as they began to blare against each other, meshing together almost perfectly before his cue came in and he open his mouth to start singing along:

“I am an arms dealer

Fitting you with weapons in the form of words

And don’t really care which side wins

As long as the room keeps singing

That’s just the business I’m in, yeah”

Even if Hux had known and even if Hux believed it and even if Hux had seen what was the come, there still would have been no possible way to keep the inevitable from happening.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! It would be greatly appreciated if you could leave a comment telling me what you thought about the chapter and how you think I could further improve my writing!


End file.
